Witty Keychain Quotations You know how those novelty shops (Spencer's, et. al.), as if required by some obscure law, all carry those cutesy keychains with various sayings on them? Well, I happen to know that in your deepest innermost desire, you really wanted a list of those ever so witty sayings. So, without further ado... • I need more money, power, and less SHIT from you people. • We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God. • Discourage inbreeding; ban country music. • Life is short. Don't be a dick. • Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse! • Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr. Right • To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group • I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that. • I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that. • I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear • I have PMS and a gun. Did you have a problem with that!?! • I'm 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get out of my way. • I haven't found Mr Right but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy and Mr Wrong • You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me. • It's Miss Bitch to you. • How do you keep an idiot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides of keychain) • I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's Shit • If you're rich, I'm single. • Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs • If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you shower nude, it show's your nuts!!! • I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but I'm FUN. • If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk! • If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna piss you off. - or - If it has tires or tits, it's gonna piss you off. • Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass! • Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass • Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you glad you're not a birthday? • To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run! • (Written in really tiny writing) Nosy little fucker, aren't you? • (This is a visual gag. It's a condom inside plastic with the caption) "In case of emergency, break glass." (What's really funny is in tiny writing underneath) "Not recommended for use" • I am so broke, I can't even pay attention. • I am not a BITCH... I am *the* BITCH. • I was put on this planet to make your life miserable. • I'm in touch with my inner bitch. • I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level). • I do what the voices in my head tell me. Looking for Mr. Right *crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee! • Heartbreaker, looking for next victim. • In God we trust. All others we monitor. • Not all women are annoying... some are dead. • The nuns made me dress this way. • You! Out of the gene pool! • You must be this tall to ride this ride. •Moody Bitch; seeking a caring, and understanding guy to dump on. B.I.T.C.H. = Beautiful Individual That Can Handle anything!