1) The night was dark, the moon was high,
  I stopped my car....u wondered why?
  I leant so close, u felt shy.
  I uttered those three words....

  I ......la.......puncture !!

  2) Friends r like mirrors
     they r our reflection
     you r damn lucky I look good !!!!

  3) You - cute

  You = hot
  You = sweet
  You = intelligent
  You = amazing
  You = perfect

  Me = liar.

  4) I have a confession to make, ever since I have known u,

  Its kinda hard for me to forget u.
  Every night u appear in my dreams
  And I find my self shouting.....

  BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!! ('bhoot' meaning ghost in Hindi)

  5) I look at the stars, the stars r beautiful

  Then I look at you......
  I ......
  I .......
  I rather look at the stars again. *****
 
  6) Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
  It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.
 Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.

  7) u r 100% beautiful, u r 100% lucky
   u r 100% sweet , u r 100% nice
   and u r 100% stupid to believe these words
 
  8) If lord Krishna flirts, people say its RAAS LEELA.
   If we flirt, people say our character is DHEELA.

  9) Good looking people r hard to find.
   That's why u don't ......
   That's y u don't see me often.
 
  10) A good speech should b like a women's skirt...
  Long enough to cover the subject,

 And short enough to create interest.
 

  11) When u feel sad....
  To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
  "damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness.
  But don't make this a habit.....
  Coz liars go to hell !!!!

12) Jassi singh tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one
will b at home."

  When she goes the next day to his home.......
  There was NO ONE at home.
 
  13) What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???
   He wonders who is the father of the second child.

  14) Your brain will be refreshed in the next five seconds.....

  5......
 
  4.......
 
  3.......
 
  2.......
 
  1........
 

  LOADING.....
 

  ERROR: no brain detected.
 

  15) WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day."
  HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new
one everyday."
 
  16) A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" too
boring, too many characters and no story.
  LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??
 
  17) God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from all the REST
coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST.

  AHEM !! don't argue with God now.